There's never a good time. . .
This made me think about other times in my life when things have happened at the most inconvenient time:
You know, your checkbook is running thin and the tax assessment arrives for your house and it's due 5 days before Christmas.
One year, our dog ate a plastic trash can lid, seriously, a 40 gallon trash can lid. . . chewed it into little pieces and swallowed it up, bit by bit. This required surgery to open her stomach and pull the pieces out. $1K spent two weeks before Christmas. We were faced with paying for this surgery or informing our girls that the dog would be going away to doggy heaven. . right before Christmas. We're wimps, we paid for the surgery.
You have a huge presentation that could change your business for the rest of the year and you wake up with a sore throat, a crazy BG or stomach virus and can't go to work.
You have an ill child, one that's missed their nap, another lying naked on the changing table and the roof inspection guy shows up. The dog is barking to alert you that a stranger is approaching, the kids are crying, you have one hand over a diaper holding back the golden stream and trying to answer the door and hold the dog back.
You get bad news. . you've got a chronic illness, a lump, a broken relationship, lose a job, lose a loved one, lose hope.
There's never a good time. . .
We are a people of planning. We plan our days, weeks, months, years, lives in an effort to know where we are heading, what to expect, when we'll arrive and how that will be rewarded. Anything changing that direction sends us reeling as we try to make adjustments to STILL reach that planned destination while fitting this detour in. There's never a good time . . . as our time has been alloted, our money has been spent before it arrives, our emotions have been invested.
So then, do we find each life circumstance to be an interruption of an otherwise good plan, or do we examine it to determine if our final destination needs to be changed.
My mom certainly didn't plan on living her retirement years on her own. She had a plan to travel and live in a 5th wheel visiting friends and family around the country, constantly being welcomed with a warm hug, new sites, new experiences. That all changed in January of 2008, when my Father reached HIS final destination, at the feet of his Savior. My mom could've just pulled up the sidewalks, locked the doors and windows and given up on her dream of travel and the warmth of a welcome hug. Instead, she adjusted, changed course and rolled with it. Since Dad's passing, Mom has moved to Kansas and visited Belgium, France, California, Tennesse and Oklahoma.
I just started a new life in KS, with my very handsome husband and our four girls. I was already adjusting to a new city, new job, new church. I got lost on a daily basis and never knew which direction I was driving. I'm fortunate that we have a group of friends that accepted me in and loved me immediately.
Now, I face that new life with diabetes. I can either give in, decide I'm not going to make it to that final destination or I can adjust again. . adding new routines to my days, new information to my library, new frustrations but also new solutions. I've also had the privilege of adding new friends, new experiences, new opportunities that never would've been part of this journey if I hadn't stumbled over the diabetes speed-bump. So, I grasp this new life, hold it close and start running. I know it's hard to believe, but there have been some good things brought about by this bump in my road:
I've met so many inspirational, wonderful, funny, loving, smart people
I've lost quite a bit of weight
I'm eating so much more healthy
I'm exercising regularly
I've learned to notice changes in my body
I got to go without glasses for several months
I'm writing again. (you may not think that's a good thing. . but, I LOVE it.)
So, I change direction again and I'm back to finding an Attitude of Gratitude to start each day. Today, I'm grateful that I can recognize when I'm starting to be bitter, grumpy and complaining early enough to adjust my direction and get back on the path.
- I'm grateful that if I have to deal with a chronic condition, it's one that can be managed and LIVED with
- I'm grateful for my family and friends who surround me, grabbing my hands to pull me up when I fall down, walking in front of me to guide me, behind me to give me that "push" when I need it and beside me to hold my hands and keep me at the right pace.
- I'm especially grateful for my husband is the most supportive, helpful, cheerleader ever!
- I'm grateful for a God who knew me in my mother's womb, who knit me together, fearfully and wonderfully made me and knows what's broken and how to fix it.
- I'm grateful that I can use writing and art as therapy, to get my feelings out there for others to relate to and hopefully find kinship and hope in.